El Pistola

Well, it’s been six months since I last blogged a Dad’s Discipleship Tip and I thought it was time to start back up. Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me to do so, especially my lovely wife. I plan on posting about once a week. I put it italics to give me an out, just in case. Blogging is a love/hate type of thing. It reveals my depravity when I do it because I love to write about the joys and blessings of my family, but when I make a commitment to doing it on any type of schedule, my inner high schooler comes out. So we’ll see how it goes.

Today’s blog isn’t really a tip, it’s more of an experience I want to share. And just a warning, some people may not like it.

My son has seen me handle, hold and wear my pistol since he was very young. He has even seen me shoot it. I have never let him hold or even touch one of my guns and knows he is never allowed to. Every time he sees me with one I make a point to tell him the dangers of guns. They are indeed very dangerous, but men wield dangerous weapons as the leaders and protectors of their family.

We made the decision to not let Jack play with toy guns besides the standard squirt gun because we didn’t think he was old enough to understand the responsibility of it yet. It is a responsibility to even play with a toy gun because we must always remember that how our children learn to play when they are young will effect how they will live when they are old.

He is now four years old and it just so happens that I recently found something from my childhood in an old box. It’s an old toy six-shooter of mine (or my brother’s) made out of metal with a shiny silver finish. The trigger and hammer are the only moving parts on the toy and it used to have a spring inside that would allow you to pull back the hammer and pop a cap. The spring is gone now, but it is still a superior toy. They don’t make ‘em like this anymore. I decided it was time to give it to my boy.

Now it would be very easy for me to just hand that shiny revolver over to him and tell him to go have fun, but we as dads have a higher calling than that. We are commissioned with discipling our children in all areas of life. This isn’t the easiest thing to do, but I can think of few things that are a greater privilege. So there are a couple things that I want to teach him as I give him this new gift.

The first thing I want to teach is that a gun is not a toy, it’s a weapon and a tool. They were invented for a very specific task and that is to end life. A gun will take the life of beast or man in an instant because that is what it is made to do. Even though the one he now has in his hand is not real, he is to treat it like it is. That means that there are rules he must obey. He must never look down the barrel because that is a very foolish thing to do. He also must never point it at another person. He can shoot all the imaginary bears, wolves, dinosaurs and dragons that he wants and even pretend that his dog is one of those things, but he is to never point it at a person. We are not created like the animals. We are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) and it is a grievous and horrible thing when that image is destroyed, no matter who it is. Now I realize that the primary reason that I carry a pistol with me is because if I ever have to use it, it will most likely be against another man, but that is something I grieve and pray that I will never have to do. But Jack doesn’t need to know about any of that now.

Secondly, I want to teach him about the wonderful privilege we have by having the freedom to bear arms. Most of the world can not say this. The number one reason that I carry a concealed handgun is so that I will be able to keep my family safe, should the need arise. The number two reason that I carry is because I can.

Our founders gave us the right to keep and bear arms so that we the people would have a way to protect ourselves from a tyrannical government. They didn’t just want us to have the option of bearing arms, they encouraged it. A brief study of history will show you that before any dictator or tyrannical government came into power, the first thing they did was confiscate weapons. I’m not saying that our country is going through this, I’m just saying that I want to be ready if it does. I want my family to be ready. Society has done a good job giving people the mindset that guns are evil and men are not. I hold the opposite view. Men are evil and guns are good tools we use to restrain us from doing whatever we want. Just like Mr. Larson’s T-shirt from Happy Gilmore says, “Guns don’t kill people, I do!”

I’m not really a dip-in-my-lip redneck type of guy; I have never even been hunting. The only animals I have killed are two snakes and a raccoon that was getting my grandpa’s chickens, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love and appreciate the freedom we have to bear arms. The more we are discouraged from having guns or taught to fear them or made to just become indifferent about them, the easier it will be when someone wants to take them away.

I pray that I never have to raise a gun at another man and I pray the same for my son when he becomes a man, but I want us to have the knowledge and ability to use them well if we have to. He is being trained to be brave, to be wise, to have character. He is being trained to become a man.

You may think that all of this is a little bit too much to think about just to give a toy to a little boy, but I don’t. It’s a divine privilege that God has given me as an earthly father that I dare not, but too often, neglect. I pray that my small mind and selfish heart would be transformed more and more each day by the word of God so that I may never miss an opportunity to pass along wisdom and knowledge to my children. It’s easy to be lazy; it’s hard to be deliberate. But that is what we must be. Everyday I must think, “What can I teach my son today?” I must think it and then do it, so that he may grow up to be a better man than me; loving, serving and glorifying Christ his Savior for all the days he is given.

2 Peter 3:18

Baby Born In Hospital Left To Die

This is a copy of an email I just received. Please read it.

September 15, 2009

Dear Mr. Grimes,

Sarah Capewell’s son is dead because of Britain’s nationalized health care system. Little Jayden was born premature at 21 weeks and 5 days after conception. If Jayden had been born just two days later, doctors would have worked to save his life. But the cutoff age for a premature baby under Britain’s National Health Service rationing guideline is 22 weeks.

Forty-eight hours denied Jayden the lifesaving healthcare that he needed to live. Even without it, he breathed on his own for two hours—a sure sign Jayden was a fighter. In spite of Sarah’s pleas with doctors to save his life, they refused to offer even the most remedial care. They told Sarah that before 22 weeks gestation, Jayden was only a fetus and had no human rights.

This and worse is what we can expect if President Obama successfully imposes government-controlled healthcare on American citizens. From the very first day, such a system would be desperate for money to keep it afloat. Nancy Pelosi told reporters that half the bill “will be paid for by squeezing excesses out of the system.” This means the rationing of healthcare—denying basic medical treatment to our most vulnerable citizens—would become commonplace. You and I can’t let that happen.

Contrary to the President’s claims the other night before Congress, abortion-on-demand would be funded and facilitated by his proposed plan. And the Capps amendment is nothing more than a smokescreen to cover up abortion funding. Here are more details if you’d like documentation. Unless it’s specifically prohibited, abortion would be incorporated as mainstream healthcare. If so, the number of abortions would skyrocket—an added death toll to those who succumb because of rationed care.

From a pro-life viewpoint, government-controlled healthcare is a blueprint for death and disaster. So now is the time to let your members of the Senate and House of Representatives know you oppose any plan that facilitates abortion or rationing. We can support healthcare reforms that don't kill innocent human life.

During the next 48 hours please do the following in honor of Jayden. The President and pro-abortion leaders in Congress are pulling out all the stops. Our only hope is to mobilize pro-life citizens in a massive effort to contact their elected officials. We've made it easy to contact yours: Senators, Representatives, and President. If you don’t know who your senators and congressman are, click here and enter your zip code. The computer will do the rest.

If you’d like help composing an email, go here for sample text you can copy and paste. The important thing is to let your voice be heard before it’s too late. Please do it now, and share this email with others. America’s unborn babies and our vulnerable citizens need you now more than ever. Please use these next 48 hours to save lives!

Sincerely for innocent human life,

Bradley Mattes
Executive Director
Life Issues Institute
www.lifeissues.org

Hopefully you are angry and will react. We can’t let this system come into our country. I just heard a Democrat senator on Fox News saying that the way they will pay for healthcare is by cutting wasteful spending in the medical field. This is what they are talking about. They will cut healthcare spending by rationing it to those they think deserve it. Let’s rise up and let them know that this is not acceptable and if the vote in favor of it, they will not get our votes ever again.

Slowing Down

Well, August is just about over and I’m going to slow down my Discipleship Tips. I had originally planned for them to be Daily Discipleship Tips, but I figured out that that was a little too ambitious. I averaged about one every other day if you count the weekends, so I guess it wasn’t too bad. But sometimes I would get flashbacks of high school and last minute essays that were due the next day, and I just don’t need that kind of pressure anymore.

So what I plan to do is post just a couple of times a week from now on. I still have some things to say, even if they aren’t very good. I hope you will continue to read them. As of now, I have seven subscribers including my wife and my mom, which don’t count, and myself because I’m a loser. So I have a lot of confidence about continuing to move forward. I’m hoping to get syndicated soon.

Seriously, though, my hope and prayer is that if I have something worthwhile to say I will say it and if I don’t, I will keep my mouth closed. I want to encourage men to be better husbands and fathers for the glory of Christ because that’s what I want to be. One of my biggest struggles was not knowing what I am called to do and how to do it. I’m still learning, but I want to pass on some tips that I have learned in the short time I have been doing it.

So, I’ll talk to you later this week. I plan on writing about dragons and cool stuff like that. I love you, mom. Thanks for dinner on Saturday. See you later tonight, Amanda. Kiss the kids for me. How about Frito Pie for dinner?

DDT-14 Why & What We Read

From the very beginning of our marriage, Amanda and I always wanted to instill a love of reading in our kids. It gives me joy when I see Jack go pick out a book, sit down and “read” through it. Evie has even started looking through books by herself too. That’s what she was doing when she fell and scratched her cornea on a corner of a book this week.

I think it is important for us to examine why we read to them and also, what we read to them. I encourage you to read all kinds of books to your kids. Fairy tales, fables, poems, cartoon character books, chapter books; there are a lot of good ones. Our house is filled with all different kinds of kid’s books. I want to give them a lot of variety in a wide range of subjects, but I do have some guidelines on what I want to be putting into their minds. There are some books that I don’t really like reading to my children. They aren’t necessarily bad books, I just don’t care for them. Let me tell you why.

It may sound weird, but I don’t really like books that try to teach morals to my kids. A couple of examples that I'm familiar with would be Clifford the Big Red Dog or any of the Sesame Street books. We have a lot of these books and my kids still read them every now and then, but I usually tell them to go pick out another book. The reason being is I don’t need Elmo telling my son that he should share his toys or not to look down at another monster because he has different colored body hair. I have Jesus to tell him to love his neighbor as himself and the apostle Paul to tell him that there is no Jew or Gentile, but that we are either in Christ or not. I am the one who guides and disciples my children in their moral upbringing and I use the Word of Almighty God to do it, not the wisdom of Snuffleupagus. If Elmo wants to go walk his dog in the park and have a crazy, silly, funny adventure along the way, I’m fine with that (except for the fact that he only speaks in the third person, which drives me insane). I'll read those types of Sesame Street books to them, but the reason I read books to my kids is not to give them moral guidance. It’s to give them a big imagination and to teach them to use their mind.

Another thing I don't want in a kid's book is sinful behavior that is overlooked, tolerated or seen as cute. I loved Curious George books when I was a boy. I still have a lot of them that I kept for my kids, but what Amanda and I noticed as we were re-reading them as adults and parents, is that George is not obedient and he doesn’t get punished for it. I know it may sound silly because he is a monkey, but he portrays a child who is under the guidance and authority of a father (the man with the yellow hat). Whenever he does something that he is not supposed to, it is never addressed as sin nor is there any consequence. “George, you just killed three people by driving a bull dozer through the park, but I guess it’s okay because you made really great blueberry pancakes at the fundraiser breakfast and raised a lot of money for the hospital.” That of course was a slight exaggeration, but you get my point. It teaches that there is no consequence to sin or that you can make up for it, which is works righteousness.

Also, we don’t have very many Bible story books in our house. I am very particular about children’s books with regards to Scripture. I’m not a King James Only type person at all, but I take God’s Word very seriously when it comes to putting it into my kid’s mind. Do you have memories of something you learned when you were a kid, but when you got older you found out it wasn’t completely correct? Do you remember how it totally rocked your world when you found out the truth?

My ancestry is part native American, so I was always told that I have Indian blood in me. Unfortunately, my grandmother also told me, when I was young, that I had turkey blood in me. So whenever it came up at school, I would tell the other kids that I was part Indian and part Turkey. No matter what objections I heard, I listened to none of them. I would have died a martyrs death to defend my beloved Turkey-Forefather’s namesake. It wasn’t until I was about ten did it finally hit me that my grandmother was just making a joke. I’m serious.

Well, I don’t want to do that to my kids with the Bible. If we teach only a half-truth of Scripture, it can stay with them for a long time. Here is something that will not make me popular: I don’t like VeggieTales. It’s because they don’t do justice to the text and I don’t want them putting an incorrect vision of what a story is about into my child’s mind. Davey didn’t throw a tiny pebble at a giant pickle because he was being a meanie. No, rather, David knocked out Goliath and then went and cut off his head in the name of God because the giant was blaspheming. That’s the story my son knows because that is who I want him to be like. I want him to defend the name, honor and glory of God at the risk of his own life. This is how I teach my son to be brave. And VeggieTales can mess that up. David and Bathsheba wasn’t about stealing a rubber ducky. It was about adultery, lying, murder, judgement, repentance and forgiveness. That is what I’ll teach my kids. I do like the Silly Songs, though. Just not the Bible stuff.

I’m not saying that there aren’t any good kid’s Bible books out there, but just make sure that it is a good one before you buy it and especially before you read it. There are a few that I like. I have already mentioned one of them before.

-101 Favorite Stories from the Bible, by: Ura Miller

I really love this book. Mr. (or Mrs., not sure) Miller summarizes the stories very well and talks about sin and wickedness and repentance whenever the Bible talks about it. He doesn’t sissify it, he just makes it more concise. It has text on one page and an illustration of the story with a memory verse on the other.

-Teach Them To Your Children, by: Sarah Wean

This is a good book that has short, one page stories about Christian virtues and morals based on Scripture. It starts with the Scripture and builds the story around it, not the other way around. It’s not shoehorned in or superficial at all. It has the memory verse at the end of each story.

-Big Truths For Little Kids, by: Susan & Richie Hunt

This is the catechism book I talked about in a previous post. It’s an extremely great way to teach your kids Biblical theology through the catechism as well as the great stories.

Other than these, for right now, I only use the Bible to teach my children about their father’s God. Jack has graduated to reading straight Bible with me and Evie is now on 101 Favorite Stories in the Bible. I read NIV, ESV, and NASB versions of the Bible to Jack. It just depends which one I have with me. I am not really concerned about how hard a translation is, just as long as I take the time to explain words to him. If your kids can understand you, they can understand the Bible. Jack is only three and a half and he can sit for about an hour and listen to a story. Train them. It’s hard and it takes time, but you can do it.

Well, that’s all. This post is already way too long.

Stay faithful and persevero!

DDT-13 Always Growing

First off, I apologize for all the grammatical mistakes in yesterday’s post. It looked like a government educated person wrote it or something. Oh, wait.

Well, I fixed them, so if you go back and read it again, it might make a little more sense.

Today I wanted to emphasize something that I have said before. I write a post a few times a week trying to encourage dads to be godly, biblical, hard-working disciple-makers in their home. What I want to reiterate is that I am a young dad and am still learning a lot of this as I go.

Men, what we are trying to do, the vision we have set for our families and the hopes that we have for what they will become, it’s all rare. It’s rare because it’s hard. I mean it. Many men are not willing to sacrifice and put in the work that is required to be a faithful husband and dad. You know what I am talking about if you are trying to lead your family in a godly way. I struggle with what I am called to do or even know what to do. We are given guidelines in Scripture in regards to being a godly man, but there is no checklist given. Oh, how I wish there was a checklist, but it is because of God’s wisdom and grace that there isn’t. He has given us freedom in Christ and the power of His Holy Spirit to live and lead as our conscience dictates. The reason is because all of us are different. I have modeled a lot of what I do after other godly men, but there have been things that I have had to adjust. Some things that I have learned have been a blessing from God, while other things haven’t worked out very well.

You are the leader in your family, and it is important for you to take initiative in discipling them, but it’s just as important for you to make adjustments when they are not working quite right. Every family is unique. We all have different quantities of children with different genders and different age differences in between. Right now I have a three and a half year old boy and a sixteen month old girl. What I am doing with them now is not what I will be doing when they are teenagers. Right now, I expect much more from Jack than I do from Evie. We just want Evie to close her eyes while we pray and sit at the table and not scream while I read the Bible. Jack, on the other hand, must sit still, listen to my words and be able to answer the questions I ask him. We have to balance their two ability levels. Sometimes we have to stop because Evie is on the verge of spontaneously combusting and I have to finish with Jack later.

Another difference from where we started compared to now is how much Scripture we read. Initially, my goal was to read four chapters a day, but I have since found that, presently, that is a little too much. In the mornings we read Proverbs. Sometimes it is a whole chapter, but sometimes it’s only half. What I had to ask myself was, “Do I want to read all of this just so I can say that I did, or do I want to hide it in their hearts and teach them to love it?” So now, as I prepare beforehand, I choose two to four verses that I want to review with Jack and we work on memorizing them. Then we just see how it goes.

At night, I wanted to read a whole chapter of Luke, but I found that I wasn’t dealing adequately with the text in the amount of time that I have their attention. So now, I usually just go through one or two paragraphs or stories in the gospel narrative. Sometimes, though, the stories go together so that we are able to read a whole chapter, like Luke fifteen.

And finally, I want them to have good understanding of the Bible as a whole. To do this, I am reading a chapter of Genesis and a chapter of Romans a day, but in a different way than Proverbs and Luke. I am not as strict about them being perfectly still and focusing just on me. We do this in the living room while in my recliner or sometimes I let them sit where they want. When in my recliner, I start with both of them in my lap and let Evie hop down when she wants to, but I usually make Jack stay. He can have a snack or play with a toy as long as he is still paying attention. I read through the whole chapter, but I do it loud and in a more animated voice so as to be somewhat interesting and harder to tune out. And that’s how I plan to get God’s word into them, at least for right now.

Last night was a good night that God really blessed me with. Everything went well. I had the starting of a migraine when I got home, but I took some medicine and it went away. Then I played in a tent with the kids for a while, read a chapter of the Chronicles of Narnia to Jack, clipped the kids finger and toe nails (found most of them), had a good dinner, Evie was quiet (mostly because she stuck both hands in a yogurt cup and spread it all over her body), Jack listened and asked really good questions about the Bible, watched the kids wrestle with Cricket (our dog) and Jack and I had chocolate chip cookies while we watched a couple of episodes of Man vs Wild.

These are the types of nights that give me encouragement and help keep me going, but even if there were never any good nights, I am still called and commanded to disciple my family. It just shows us how good and gracious our Father is to us.

I thought it was necessary for me to write this post because I don’t want to ever seem like I have it all figured out. I am just starting out and I have so much to learn and grow in, but I want to encourage others, especially young dads. It’s time to put away the childish things that are so commonplace in our culture and start investing in eternity; our children’s souls.

DDT-12 What They Like

I was really encouraged by something my pastor said yesterday. As he was preaching through Philippians 2:19-24, he was talking about how Timothy wasn’t concerned about his own interests or even the interests of others, but the interests of Christ. We should care about the things that Christ cares about and He is the One that determines what is good and worthy of our affection.

My pastor went on to recall a time when he was at a store, buying some toys for his two boys who were with him. A man near by asked him why he would pick those particular toys out for them and made the comment that they wouldn’t like them. My pastor replied, “My boys will like what I want them to like.” I was really encouraged by that and it is refreshing to hear about a man biblically leading his children.

News Flash! We have the right and authority to tell our kids what to do and even what to like. They are not the boss and they don’t rule over us. It’s the other way around. Sadly though, many parents let their kids do whatever they want, without fear of discipline, in the name of love. They should take the time to read Proverbs 13:24:

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Listen, your kids are fools until you teach them wisdom. If you never teach them wisdom, they will always remain fools. And if you don't disciple them in the Word and discipline them with the rod, then you hate them. That’s why I love reading the Proverbs to my family everyday. It teaches us to fear the Lord, hate evil, love truth, protect the innocent, work hard, not be a sluggard, etc. If you want to cut my son to the quick, just call him a sluggard when he is not doing the job he is supposed to be.

I’m not going to say a lot about what you should have your kids be interested in because I don’t know you. I want them to like what you like. My son likes He-Man, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, shooting snakes and kicking his underwear off with his foot as high as he can. Why? Because his dad likes all those things. If you love to go, I don’t know, wombat watching, I want your kids right there next to you looking for wombats. If you are the exact opposite of me and we don’t like any of the same things, as long as you are discipling them in Scripture, I want your boy to desire to be just like you. Whoever you are and whatever your interests are in, get your children's hearts, explain your convictions, and lead them with the Word.

Men, your boys should want to be just like you and your daughters should one day desire a man just like you, and guess what, they already do. That should keep you awake at night pouring your heart out to the Father for Him to change you into the image of His Son.

Give me your heart, my son,

And let your eyes delight in my ways.

Proverbs 23:26

DDT-11 Sermon For The Whole Family

Here is a must hear sermon. Paul Washer preaches to the whole family on Father’s Day. You can listen to it online or download the mp3 and put it on your iPod. It’s less than an hour long. Please take the time to listen to it.

Tip: Stay faithful. Pray about how your evening will be with your wife and children. Ask God for wisdom and grace to bring forth His word to them. And watch out! When you pray you can always expect attacks. Satan has come to steal, kill and destroy, John 10:10. Don’t let him do it to you and your family. Many times I have felt really encouraged and confident about things, only to come home and nothing go right. These are trials that God allows to build perseverance and character in us. Be watchful. Be faithful. Be strong. Be a man. Do everything in love.

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.

1 Corinthians 16:13-14

DDT-10 Law & Grace

The law of God has been forgotten in much of American Christianity today. “We are not under law, but under grace,” is the cry of many in the church and therefore, they live more sinfully than the world because they claim the name of Christ, but live like sons of hell. It is true that we are no longer under the condemnation of the law if we are in Christ, but that's because the condemnation fell on Him when he was on the cross. Now we are free to obey God's law when before we couldn't obey it. Those who abuse grace show that they have never received it. Look up Jesus’ words to the pharisees and you will see how much God hates hypocrites.

The law is good if it is used lawfully, 1 Timothy 1:8. The way it is used lawfully is as a mirror to show a sinner who he is in truth. The law brings the knowledge of sin, Romans 3:20, and the apostle Paul said that the law killed him, Romans 7:9. That’s exactly what has to happen to us. The law must kill us before we can be born-again. Doesn’t that make since?

We need to teach our children the law, the Ten Commandments, so that they know what sin is. Be careful though, lest we raise little pharisees who are duped into thinking that they can actually keep the commandments and please God by their obedience. The teaching of the law is always coupled with the grace of God through the cross of Christ. The law shows them why they need forgiveness for Christ.

Teaching Christ without the law makes turns our kids into grace abusers and little hellions. Teaching the law without Christ makes hard-hearted prideful pharisees. The catechism addresses this, which is another reason we do it. It teaches that we can’t obey God on our own and that we must have God’s grace.

Check out this video and see the law work in this young man’s heart in a matter of minutes. Then watch how he finally understands the gospel, even though he probably had heard it a hundred times before.

The man witnessing is Ray Comfort and his ministry is called Way of the Master. For more information on using the law in witnessing, check out Livingwaters.com and listen to Hell’s Best Kept Secret. You can also go to Wayofthemaster.com for more videos.

DDT-9 A Bibliography For Dads

A godly husband and father should be a man about books. This is something that I struggle with. I like to read, I really do, but after years of training my brain to zone out in front of TV and video games, it can sometimes be hard for me to focus on a book. This is a struggle that I must discipline myself to overcome by God’s grace.

Here is a list of books that I recommend for dads to start reading. They are ones that I have been inspired and encouraged by. It is not an exhaustive list, but these are the ones that came to mind. There are a few on here that I haven’t read yet, but I still recommend because I know the men behind them.

Husband

-Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

-The Intimate Marriage by R.C. Sproul

-The Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott

-The Family by J.R. Miller

Father

-Family Man, Family Leader by Philip Lancaster

-The Little Boy Down the Road by Douglas Phillips

-Family Driven Faith by Voddie Baucham

-What He Must Be...If He Wants To Marry My Daughter by Voddie Baucham

Personal Holiness & Devotion

-The Holiness of God by R.C. Sproul

-The Valley of Vision by Arthur Bennett

-Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald S. Whitney

-Any Banner of Truth book. These are Puritan classics. Banner of Truth is the publisher.

So now that I gave you a recommended book list, I'm going to go a little off topic. I know that reading can take up a lot of time that we don’t usually have. I wish I could spend the time to read all the books I wanted, but I just can’t. It would cause me to neglect more important things. So what I have to do is prioritize. I must be spending time reading Scripture and praying everyday. Then there is the time I spend with my family in the mornings and evenings with work in between. After all of that, I can sometimes read one other book.

But I wanted to let you know about a solution I have found that edifies me while making the most of my time. It is this new thing called an iPod. You have probably never heard of it, but I stay on top of current technology. I have one and I love it. I clip it on my belt, right next to my beeper.

I use it all the time to listen to sermons, music and the Bible. You can listen to it while driving and at work, if you’re allowed. This is how I get a lot of encouragement on being a godly husband and father that I wouldn’t otherwise get. A great resource for the iPod is Behemoth.com. It is a media download ministry from Vision Forum and has tons of great stuff for the whole family. They have a “Free Today” section that is updated daily. I also listen to a lot of sermon podcasts too. If you haven’t already, check out Paul Washer and Voddie Baucham.

What you put in our mind is so important. Whatever it is, it should be edifying. They way you think throughout the day will determine how you treat your family when you get home.

Tip: Love God with all you mind.

DDT-8 Catechizing Our Kids- Why & How We Do It

If you have a two or three year old child or have ever been around one for a time, you know that they can ask more questions than a game of Trivial Pursuit. Most of the ones they ask are not real brain busters because they usually start with, who, what or why, but after more than a few minutes of this line of questioning you may be tempted to give the kid some Nyquil. Let me suggest something else. Take their God given curiosity and turn it around on them for His glory. Catechize them.

Historically, Christians have catechized their kids since the days of the reformation in the sixteenth century. In times past, the way a pastor would know whether or not the father was discipling his children faithfully was by coming by the home and asking the kids the catechism questions. If they didn’t know the answers, he would tell the dad to get with it and start leading his family. There are Reformed catechisms, Catholic catechisms and some that have nothing to do with spiritual things at all. All a catechism is, is a set of specific questions that have specific answers that teaches as specific subject. The type that we use in the Grimes family is the reformed theology Westminster Shorter Catechism. This one I linked to has somewhat outdated language, but you get the idea.

But what’s the point? Well, I’m glad I typed this question to make it seem like you asked it. Young children are not able to read on their own and it is hard for them to sit for long periods listening to Scripture or preaching, but we don’t want to wait until they are older to start teaching them the things of God. So then, what we do is ask them short one sentence questions that have short one sentence answers to teach them good sound doctrine.

Let me be clear up front, catechizing our kids in no way replaces Scripture; it supplements it. If I had to choose one or the other, there is no question it would be the Bible. What the catechism does though, is help children understand the Bible at a very early age. I consider myself a reformed baptist, but I worship at a Presbyterian church (PCA). In the reformed faith, Presbyterians make up the majority of people who catechize their kids, but I started with Jack before we ever began going to the Presbyterian church. Thankfully, more baptist churches are becoming more reformed and starting to encourage their people to catechize their kids.

We started with Jack a couple of months before he turned three. It depends on how much you have been reading to your child throughout their life as to how well they listen and how much they comprehend. You should read to your infants everyday even if it’s just a little bit. Read them anything from little baby books to the Bible or just whatever you are reading. Just do it out loud (obviously) and consistently. That’s what we did with Jack and he had no problem with catechism when he was under three. If you haven't been, start now. Build them up slowly to love books. And I strongly suggest a very limited time watching TV. It kills their attention span.

How we catechize is the biggest reason for our success. I purchased the book Big Truths for Little Kids by Susan and Richie Hunt. It is so great. It has 31 or 32 stories that follows a family of believers and each story goes along with the three or four catechism questions at the beginning of each chapter. You can successfully catechize by just printing out the questions and going through them with your child. This is how they did it for hundreds of years in the past (except for the printer), but it is the stories that keeps Jack’s attention throughout and helps him remember the theology. This book is an invaluable resource to my family.

Once Jack was established in the questions and answers, I did not allow him to answer, “I don’t know.” That is not an acceptable answer because I know that he knows the correct one, he just isn’t paying attention. We must not let our kids be lazy. If I tell him to think about it and give him a minute, he will usually remember the answer. Of course, there are times when he truly doesn’t know because he forgot and thats okay. We review a lot. If you don’t, they will surely not remember it. With the book we use, I usually ask him the questions from the night before and then the questions for the current night before going on to the story. At the end of the story there is a verse that we work on memorizing. He is even better at it than me sometimes and has to correct me.

Jack loves it. He asks for it if I forget or am too tired. This is what we usually do after baths and before bedtime. We read a Bible story and then read our catechism story. I am so thankful for the grace that God has given my son to actually desire His word (Bible) and the truth of His word (catechism).

Tip: Pray and consider doing this with your children. You are their leader and are responsible for their spiritual well-being and so I have no place or authority to tell you to do or not do this with them. You must make the decision, but as you can probably guess, I highly recommend it.

DDT-7 Your Kids Are Only As Dumb As You Let Them Be

Your kids are not dumb. Depraved, yes, but not dumb. They have the ability to absorb vast amounts of information, especially when they are young. Chinese is one of the most complex languages in all the world to learn, but walk up to any three year old Chinese child and you will find that they have an incredible grasp of it. Why is that? It’s because they have been born into the language. What language have your children been born into? What’s the language in your home?

God has given our minds the ability to learn vast amounts of information and store it in the squishy stuff between our ears. What we learn when we are young effects the rest of our life. Whoever teaches a child how to talk, teaches them how to think. I submit, the language in our homes must be Scripture.

Pride is one of the most dangerous sins a person can have and God hates it, so the purpose for writing about my son is discipleship and encouragement, not for boasting. See Galatians 6:14

It is by the grace of God that Jack is what he is right now and even then he is still a little sinner, but let me tell you, he knows more theology than most adults I know. There are a few reasons for this and a lot of it has nothing to do with me. Amanda and I do take a lot of time reading and talking with Jack, but it is God the Holy Spirit’s working in him that causes him to remember spiritual things and more importantly, understand them. I don’t want to leave Evie out of this because we do read to and pray with her a lot, but she is at a different stage than Jack, so I am going to focus on him in this post.

There are steps we have taken and decisions we have made in order to train up Jack and Evie in the way they should go. I’ll just list them out and explain them at a later time. Everyday we try to:

-Read Scripture multiple times a day, mostly at meal times and before bed.

-Pray with them multiple times a day; in the morning, before bed and at meals. We are training Jack to start saying prayers by himself.

-We read all kinds of kids books to them throughout the day, not just bible stories. This is so important. Giving them a love of books and reading will teach them to listen to the reading of the Bible and how to sit through church.

-We catechize our kids. Don’t worry, we’re not Catholic. A catechism is just a list of questions that you teach you kids the answers to, so that they learn right theology. This has been one of the best things in the spiritual development of Jack. More on this in another post.

-Thankfully, we don’t have TV service anymore. When Amanda came home, we had to cut expenses. This is one of the best things we have done and we didn’t even want to.

These things have not been easy. In fact, it has been very hard and there are times when I don’t want to do them, but I thank God for his grace in keeping me accountable through my wife or most often my son. Yes, now that we have been doing these things for a while, Jack actually asks for it. I will elaborate more on some of these things later, but I just wanted you to be encouraged and have hope on knowing that, by God’s grace, we can do this. It will be very hard and you will have to sacrifice things, but it will be eternally worth it and you will find see that God is changing you in the process as well.

Tip: Be encouraged. You can do this. You can be a dad that changes the world for the glory of Christ through your faithfulness. Start praying and thinking about the vision you have for your family and everything you desire them to become, including yourself.

Another Delay For Today

Since I am not finding the time to finish my posts like I planned because of lack of prep-time, I thought I would give you a preview of what is to come.

Some of the DDT’s that I plan on writing about are:

Your Children Are Only As Dumb As You Let Them Be

A Bibliography For Your Kids

A Bibliography For Husband/Dads

A Bibliography For Wife/Mothers

Why My Son MUST Fight Dragons

I again apologize for the delay. Don’t neglect reading the Word and praying privately. The spiritual welfare of your family rests on your shoulders. By His grace may we stand firm.

DDT-6 Stuff Their Mouths & Hearts

Today I want to talk about something that has really helped me start training my family. By now you should know that I believe that God commands us fathers to be the leaders of our family and teach them God’s word all the time. The command from Deuteronomy still applies to us today.

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Deuteronomy 6:5-8

It is clear from this passage that God has commanded us to teach His word to our children, do it everyday and do it multiple times a day. The challenge is to make it a way of life, but not in a way that is legalistic or turns into a burden for your children. So how can we accomplish this? The best practical advice I received was from my church when they spent a month teaching parents how to have family worship with their children. That advice is to teach your children at mealtime.

Think about it. What better way can you get all of your family together in one place, have them all sit still and keep them semi-quiet than being at the table? If you eat fast you can then accomplish a lot in ten minutes of reading the Bible while everyone else has their mouth full. You need to be prepared beforehand and be sure to ask questions throughout to make sure they are listening. We go through a chapter of Proverbs at breakfast and I pick a couple of verses from that chapter to have Jack repeat a few times. A whole chapter can sometimes be long, but if we don’t stretch their limits, they won’t grow. In the evening, we are going through Luke. Sometimes I read a lot, sometimes just a little. It depends on how it goes. There are times when Jack asks me to keep reading and there are times when I can barely get through a paragraph.

It can be frustrating at times, but I am learning to not get so upset when things go wrong. It will not always go as planned and there will be screaming and crying, not to mention how your children behave (just kidding). You can easily get frustrated or angry, but trust me, don’t do that. You must be the leader and the example for your wife and children. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be stern, make your expectations clear and punish rebellion, but always be patient and kind and understanding. Don’t make them dread family worship time, they should grow to love it. We are training depraved children to love the things of God. It will not happen over night. And if you’re like me, you are also training yourself to start doing a lot of things differently. If you have infants, don’t wait to start until they are older. Even though they don’t understand what you are saying, you will begin training them to sit and listen even as babes and you will save yourself pain in the future. If you have older ones, get started and be patient. Be prepared. You should have read beforehand and prayed about what you will read to your kids. This will be hard work, but being a godly and obedient husband and father always is.

Tip: If you are not already, start eating every meal at the table when you are at home (I usually didn’t eat breakfast, but I started for the purpose of discipling my family). Talk to your wife about what you would like to start doing and ask her to support and pray for you. If you don’t explain your convictions, she won’t know them. Trust me, I know. Then start reading through Scripture at the pace that fits your family. Persevero!

Sorry for the Delay

I apologize for saying that I was going to post on Monday and didn’t. I usually try to plan out a whole week of DDT’s on Sunday afternoon, but didn’t get a chance to this week. It’s been a rough week for all of us with the passing of Amanda’s grandpa. I don’t want to put writing a blog about discipling your family ahead of actually being with my family.

I started writing out this morning’s post as well, but I just didn’t get it completed the way I wanted. I’m sorry for that and ask that you bear with me. I know that no one will be mad and no one is depending on my posts because they are probably not that good, but we as Christians should always do everything in our power to keep our word and ask for forgiveness when we don't.

So, God willing, I plan to post tomorrow about how to start getting God’s word into your children. I’d appreciate your prayers. Until tomorrow...

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be glory both now and to the day of eternity! Amen.

2 Peter 3:18

Jack "Poppie" Templin

I’m taking a break from the DDT’s for today and tomorrow. If you have not heard, my wife’s grandpa died from a heart attack this week. His name was Jack Templin, but we called him Poppie. It’s okay, though, because he was a Christian. We will miss him beyond words and we will mourn, but not without hope. That’s what those without Christ do. Poppie is in the Kingdom of God right now with his Savior and we have hope and confidence that we will see him again when we also enter there. Some people have Obama, we have Christ, 1 Timothy 1:1.

I’m not going to post again until Monday, but I thought I would share some of my thoughts about Poppie on this blog.

I was blessed to know Poppie well for a few precious years in my life because I married his only granddaughter. I can sincerely say that I have never lost a person I loved as much as him. My son Jack, Poppie’s namesake, was his running around town buddy. Thanks to Poppie, my son knows more people than I do. He doesn’t completely understand everything yet, but he did ask if there will be a McDonald’s or Chic-fil-a or Panda in heaven that Poppie can drive him to when he gets there.

Jack Templin was truly the most generous and selfless man I have ever known. He was what the world would call a good man, but what the world considers to be good, Scripture denies. For “there is no one who does good, not even one.”

Poppie knew this and that is why he turned from his sins and put his trust in the only One who is truly good, the Lord Jesus Christ. By faith, he received the gift of forgiveness and he bore fruit keeping with repentance. This is what everyone saw in the life and character of Jack Templin. What the world calls a good man, we call the grace of God, so give all the glory to his God and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is what he would have wanted us to do and it's what he is doing right now.

DDT-5 All Men Are Born Evil

Theology time.

It is so important that we have good doctrine as we disciple our children. Here is Paul Washer speaking on the depravity of man. Our children must understand depravity before they can understand and appreciate grace through Jesus Christ.

DDT-4 First Things First (Part 2)

It is easy to love your kids, isn’t it? They run to greet you when you get home, they are always happy to see you, they give you affection freely and they don’t care that you stink or how ugly you are.

According to my son I am the best fighter, greatest handyman, bravest, strongest, smartest guy ever to walk the planet. It makes me pretend that I have something in my eye whenever he talks about me in that way. He is not doing it for my benefit either, he is just stating what he thinks is fact.

But my wife knows better. And yours does too, doesn’t she? Our wives don’t always treat us with the same kind of admiration our kids do. Do you know why? We don’t treat our wives the same way we treat our kids. We are much more forgiving with them than the ones with whom we made a covenant before God. One of our children could finger paint on the wall with poop and after the spanking, we would laugh about it, but our wife can commit the slightest act of disrespect and our pride flares up.

Our kids don’t fully understand the depravity of their fathers and the holy standard of God, but hopefully our wives do. It’s hard for my wife to be in full submission to me and give me respect when I act according to my flesh. She is not ignorant about me like my kids are. She knows the wickedness I am capable of and has experienced it first hand. She knows that I am not worthy of perfect respect, but she still strives to give it to me because she is commanded to. The problem is that I am not like Christ. Whether or not she respects and submits to me as she is commanded has nothing to do with the command that I have been given to love and care for her. Neither one of us are worthy of what the other is commanded to give. When we understand who we are in the light of God’s holiness, we know that the only thing any of us are really worthy of is hell, and if you don’t believe this, tune in tomorrow.

And that, friends, is the glorious thing. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for the ungodly. Jesus Christ lay down His life to present His bride, the Church, holy and blameless to Himself. And that is what He calls men to do with their own wives. We are to be a picture of Christ and His Church in our marriages. We must lay down our lives for our wives. It doesn’t matter if she gives you respect as she should. If it did, that would mean that Christ wouldn’t have to love you whenever you don’t give Him due honor, so do we really want to go down that road?

What if God gave us marriage, not to make us happy or have our needs fulfilled, but to make us holy? If we look at marriage this way and each day choose to lay down our life for our wives, you will both grow in holiness and conform to the image of Christ. May I do it as well and not be found a hypocrite. We can’t do it without God’s grace and power working in us.

It is the hardest thing we will ever do, but it is the most important thing we will ever do.

Tip: Make a point to pray with your wife alone and without kids everyday, specifically that both of you would obey what God has commanded each of you, respectively. You should be reading Scripture with your wife everyday as well, apart from your family worship time. Get a good devotional to go through or just read through the Bible.

DDT-3 First Things First (Part 1)

When you became a dad your whole life changed, didn’t it? You learned to function with a lot less sleep. If you have a boy, you learned to get that diaper on quick, otherwise you could look like a fireman desperately trying to get a runaway firehose under control. And if you’re like me, you learned about your baby’s first alien-like poop that would make a buzzard wretch. Since Amanda was confined to her hospital bed, it was up to me to change Jack’s first tar-like nightmare of a diaper the night he was born. My brother in law was technically there, but all he did was have dry heaves from a distance. By the time it was over, Jack and I were crying and Amanda couldn’t stop laughing.

But probably the most significant change that happened when you became a father was that you instantly fell in love with another human being that you just met. The love you have for your child would cause you to die for him without even thinking about it. Your life changed that day and as a new dad you wanted more than anything to be a good father.

Now listen to me, men. I am about to say something that you probably won’t like and it should hit home with all of us.

If you are not laying down your life for your wife, if you’re not putting her needs above your own, if she is not the most important thing in your life apart from God and if your love for your children doesn’t pail in comparison to that of her, then you are not a good father, no matter what you think.

How can I say this? I can say it because it is what Scripture teaches us by way of priorities. Nowhere in the Bible will you find a command to love your children. It is implied throughout that we love them, because we should, but it is not commanded. Likewise, it is not said that a parent and child are one flesh, even though we have more in common with them biologically than we do our spouse. And nowhere in Scripture does it say we need to understand our children (sorry child psychologists). There is nothing to understand. They are fools. Rather, they need to understand God's word.

This is what Scripture says:

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

&

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.“ Ephesians 5:25-28

&

“You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7

You might ask why I am talking about this if the purpose of these DDT’s are to help dads disciple their children. The answer is that if you attempt to raise your children to become true followers of Christ, yet don’t sincerely love and care for their mother, you might as well forget it. The result will be that they depart from the faith the first chance they get or they will become just as big of a hypocrite as you are or worse.

Loving your wife as you ought is hardest thing you will ever do. It is the hardest thing you will EVER do. You must understand, though, that it is the most important thing you will ever do as well.

(Continued tomorrow)

Tip: Repent of not loving your wife as Christ has exampled. Pray that God would turn your heart to her, so that you will be able to lead your children with integrity and without hindrance. And here is the hard part: Talk to her about this. If God is convicting you to start making changes in you life as a husband and dad, tell her. Trust me, she won't know if you don't tell her and it will leave her confused and you frustrated. You can't disciple your kids without her understanding and support.