Today I want to talk about something that has really helped me start training my family. By now you should know that I believe that God commands us fathers to be the leaders of our family and teach them God’s word all the time. The command from Deuteronomy still applies to us today.
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Deuteronomy 6:5-8
It is clear from this passage that God has commanded us to teach His word to our children, do it everyday and do it multiple times a day. The challenge is to make it a way of life, but not in a way that is legalistic or turns into a burden for your children. So how can we accomplish this? The best practical advice I received was from my church when they spent a month teaching parents how to have family worship with their children. That advice is to teach your children at mealtime.
Think about it. What better way can you get all of your family together in one place, have them all sit still and keep them semi-quiet than being at the table? If you eat fast you can then accomplish a lot in ten minutes of reading the Bible while everyone else has their mouth full. You need to be prepared beforehand and be sure to ask questions throughout to make sure they are listening. We go through a chapter of Proverbs at breakfast and I pick a couple of verses from that chapter to have Jack repeat a few times. A whole chapter can sometimes be long, but if we don’t stretch their limits, they won’t grow. In the evening, we are going through Luke. Sometimes I read a lot, sometimes just a little. It depends on how it goes. There are times when Jack asks me to keep reading and there are times when I can barely get through a paragraph.
It can be frustrating at times, but I am learning to not get so upset when things go wrong. It will not always go as planned and there will be screaming and crying, not to mention how your children behave (just kidding). You can easily get frustrated or angry, but trust me, don’t do that. You must be the leader and the example for your wife and children. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be stern, make your expectations clear and punish rebellion, but always be patient and kind and understanding. Don’t make them dread family worship time, they should grow to love it. We are training depraved children to love the things of God. It will not happen over night. And if you’re like me, you are also training yourself to start doing a lot of things differently. If you have infants, don’t wait to start until they are older. Even though they don’t understand what you are saying, you will begin training them to sit and listen even as babes and you will save yourself pain in the future. If you have older ones, get started and be patient. Be prepared. You should have read beforehand and prayed about what you will read to your kids. This will be hard work, but being a godly and obedient husband and father always is.
Tip: If you are not already, start eating every meal at the table when you are at home (I usually didn’t eat breakfast, but I started for the purpose of discipling my family). Talk to your wife about what you would like to start doing and ask her to support and pray for you. If you don’t explain your convictions, she won’t know them. Trust me, I know. Then start reading through Scripture at the pace that fits your family. Persevero!
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