It is easy to love your kids, isn’t it? They run to greet you when you get home, they are always happy to see you, they give you affection freely and they don’t care that you stink or how ugly you are.
According to my son I am the best fighter, greatest handyman, bravest, strongest, smartest guy ever to walk the planet. It makes me pretend that I have something in my eye whenever he talks about me in that way. He is not doing it for my benefit either, he is just stating what he thinks is fact.
But my wife knows better. And yours does too, doesn’t she? Our wives don’t always treat us with the same kind of admiration our kids do. Do you know why? We don’t treat our wives the same way we treat our kids. We are much more forgiving with them than the ones with whom we made a covenant before God. One of our children could finger paint on the wall with poop and after the spanking, we would laugh about it, but our wife can commit the slightest act of disrespect and our pride flares up.
Our kids don’t fully understand the depravity of their fathers and the holy standard of God, but hopefully our wives do. It’s hard for my wife to be in full submission to me and give me respect when I act according to my flesh. She is not ignorant about me like my kids are. She knows the wickedness I am capable of and has experienced it first hand. She knows that I am not worthy of perfect respect, but she still strives to give it to me because she is commanded to. The problem is that I am not like Christ. Whether or not she respects and submits to me as she is commanded has nothing to do with the command that I have been given to love and care for her. Neither one of us are worthy of what the other is commanded to give. When we understand who we are in the light of God’s holiness, we know that the only thing any of us are really worthy of is hell, and if you don’t believe this, tune in tomorrow.
And that, friends, is the glorious thing. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for the ungodly. Jesus Christ lay down His life to present His bride, the Church, holy and blameless to Himself. And that is what He calls men to do with their own wives. We are to be a picture of Christ and His Church in our marriages. We must lay down our lives for our wives. It doesn’t matter if she gives you respect as she should. If it did, that would mean that Christ wouldn’t have to love you whenever you don’t give Him due honor, so do we really want to go down that road?
What if God gave us marriage, not to make us happy or have our needs fulfilled, but to make us holy? If we look at marriage this way and each day choose to lay down our life for our wives, you will both grow in holiness and conform to the image of Christ. May I do it as well and not be found a hypocrite. We can’t do it without God’s grace and power working in us.
It is the hardest thing we will ever do, but it is the most important thing we will ever do.
Tip: Make a point to pray with your wife alone and without kids everyday, specifically that both of you would obey what God has commanded each of you, respectively. You should be reading Scripture with your wife everyday as well, apart from your family worship time. Get a good devotional to go through or just read through the Bible.
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